Doing it Paleo-style

March 7, 2012 § 3 Comments

I was bringing in $230 of groceries from the car on Saturday, when Dave announced that he would henceforth be observing the Paleo Diet.  “er, are you familiar with the Paleo Diet?” I asked.

“It’s really healthy,” Dave responded.  I said, “Dave, it’s eating like a freaking CAVEMAN!”  “Well yes,” he responded, “my chiropractor told me about it.  We need to buy this book ‘The Paleo Diet,’ by this guy here.”*

Forget that I just brought home $230 of food that a caveman would never eat….stuff like feta cheese, canola oil, soy sauce, corn, sour cream, potatoes, brown rice, milk, soy milk, and wheat flour.  Suddenly, my husband wants to eat like a paleolithic human.

Me:  “You can’t eat rice on this Paleo diet.  You know that…right?”

Dave:  “Oh yes, it’s so healthy.”

Me:  “You can eat that way, but I won’t.”

Dave:  “You’re not supporting me in this.  Just like that, you’re not on my side?”

Me:  “Oh, I’m on your side, but I’ll just keep eating regular-people food.  You can eat the 68% meat, and hardly any vegetables.”

Dave:  “So, I’m on my own here. Thanks.  Thanks a LOT.”

Me:  “I’m COMPLETELY supporting you, but I’m not eating that caveman food.  Feel free to eat as much meat and hunter-gatherer vegetables as you want.  Like sweet potatoes…those are so totally good for you.”

Dave: “I don’t like sweet potatoes.”

Me:  “Well, yams, then.  Same thing.”

Dave:  “Yams?  I’m not eating those either.”

Me: “Fine, whatever.  Just remember: no cheese.”

Dave: “Ok, MODIFIED Paleo, with cheese.”

Me: “Sort of like Mediterranean hunter-gatherer modern human?”

Dave: “But with soy sauce and sushi.”

Me:  “Kind of like how we’ve been eating all along.”

* Loren Cordain

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